I was at Whole Foods yesterday, munching on an organic, gluten-free, probiotic, double-fiber breakfast bar while looking at the skin care section in the cosmetics aisle. There were lotions and cleansing gels and serums and intensive treatments. They were all organic and filled with essential oils and other natural ingredients, and they were all incredibly expensive.
They had some moisturizer from Dr. Hauschka, which I've heard of, so I looked at the bottle and it was 65 dollars! For four fluid ounces! I had just been balking at $30 for a bottle, and I nearly spit my breakfast bar across the store when I saw that. BUT, they had a tester. Aha. Free $65 moisturizer.
So, I pumped a bunch in my hand and slathered it all over my face. Sweet Jesus, did it smell horrible. It smelled like clay mixed with dog poop and underarm sweat, leaning just slightly toward dog poop. After I got home, Greg wouldn't come near me and oh how I envied him. At least he could escape it--that smell followed me wherever I went.
But I figure that must mean it's good. Who would pay $65 to smell like dog poop unless it really works. I think I'll go back every morning and get a few pumps from that free tester. I wonder how long it'll take until they're on to me.
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Stuff about me...my life...my family...but mostly my kid
3 comments:
Creative license! Creative license!
Greg still loves you, dog poop and all. He'll just love you from afar (sniff, sniff...uh, I mean, tear in eye).
Greg said it was creative license because I wasn't really eating a breakfast bar when I was in Whole Foods. I wasn't eating anything. So there. Happy, Greg?
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