Should I warn you about the grossness? Nah

Ellie has been at daycamp every day this week, so there's little to report about her. So I thought I'd take this opportunity to write about myself and tell you all how I've been doing.

So, I have this wart on the bottom of my foot. It's been getting more and more annoying and more painful when I walk because apparently plantar warts grow into the skin. This is because when you step on them while walking you drive them into your body. (Normal warts grow onto the surface of the skin.) So it forms a big bump under the skin that really hurts when you walk on it. I've decided to try to get rid of this wart, so I went and got Compound W pads at Walgreen's.

I was considering getting the Freeze Off, which is an applicator that sends a stream of ice cold air from an aerosal can onto the wart, freezing it on the spot and leaving it to fall off a few days later. But I had warts taken off my hand with liquid nitrogen when I was a kid and it was reeeeeallllly painful. I don't even want to approximate that again. Besides, when I read the fine print it had the following warnings:

Overexposure can lead to freezing too deeply with damage to the skin, resulting in scars and/or nerve damage. (No, thank you!)

Freezing the fingers and/or toes too deeply can lead to local tissue death. (I am not going to use anything that has a side effect of death. I don't care if it's local tissue or not.)

Misuse of Compound W® Freeze Off™ may result in burns and permanent scarring of healthy tissue or blindness. (The blindness must be if you accidentally shoot it into your eyes. And I would definitely do that. I'm extremely clumsy.)

Treat only one side of a finger or toe at a time to avoid freezing arteries or veins. (I am wholly unqualified to avoid freezing arteries or veins.)

So that was it for the Freeze Off. I am supposed to keep the pads on for 48 hours at a time, then change them if needed and use them for up to 12 weeks. When the skin on my foot turns white and starts to fall off, that's when I know it's working. I can soak the foot, cut or scrape off the dead, white skin and wait for the inner wart to fall out, possibly leaving a small hole. So when I see a hole in my foot, it's time to break out the champagne. And let me tell you, it will be the good stuff!

So in the middle of all the cute, funny Ellie stories, I know you'll all be keeping a watchful eye out for the latest status report on my wart. Rest assured, reports will be forthcoming.