It was the middle of the day and I packed up Ellie in the car and drove us into Oakland to visit Greg at work. Ellie was still a baby, but an old baby, about to become a toddler. I drove us in during the late morning so we would have time to make the rounds at work, let the coworkers ooh and aah, then go to lunch with Greg and set off back for home in time for the afternoon nap.
I held Ellie in my arms as we walked back from Greg's building to the parking garage with the diaper bag slung over my shoulder. I walked fast, because the part of Oakland where his office was had a lot of druggies and people just hanging out on the street.
As I turned in to the stairwell, a large African American woman was walking out. She had very short hair, wore a lot of makeup and had large hoop earrings and a few necklaces around her neck. She stopped and smiled at Ellie.
"Oh, look at her. She is so beautiful!" she said.
"Thank you," I answered, and I held Ellie up to show her. Ellie immediately gave her a big smile.
"She likes you," I said, as I watched the two of them regard each other with absolute joy. Ellie leaned toward her and held out her arms for the woman to pick her up. The woman looked at me hopefully.
"Would you like to hold her?" I asked. But neither of us had much of a choice, because Ellie was already pulling herself into the woman's arms.
She picked up Ellie and held her for a few minutes, showing Ellie her necklace and earrings and letting her touch them. Then she gave her back to me.
"Look at me, I'm crying," the woman said, and I laughed, and we hugged each other. We said goodbye and I took Ellie to the car and drove home feeling like my child had just given me the most strangely uplifting encounter I'd had in awhile.
***
Ellie and I went on a day trip into San Francisco on the BART train. She was about four years old. We parked in the parking garage at our local station and started walking up the stairs to get to the trains. We turned the corner but had to stop midway up the flight because a middle aged blonde woman was sitting on the stairs. She was drunk and she was crying and she looked startled by us. A large rolling suitcase was sitting next to her.
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
"No," she answered.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
"I got separated today," she said.
"Oh," I answered. "I'm so sorry."
"I don't know where I'm going to go," she said.
I imagined inviting her to my car and taking her back to my house, but I had no idea if that was a good idea or a terrible one. If I bring her to my house, will her estranged husband break down my door? Is she drunk enough to act inappropriately around Ellie? Every good deed came with a possible consequence. Ellie started pulling on my arm to come with her.
"Can I take you somewhere? Can I call someone for you?" I asked. Her expression shifted slightly and she seemed less catatonic and more aware of her surroundings.
"No, I'm okay. I don't need anything," she said. Ellie pulled a little harder on my arm and walked past the woman on the stairs. She kept as much distance as the stairs would allow.
"Okay," I said slowly, starting up. "I hope you'll be okay." She didn't even glance at us as Ellie pulled me the rest of the way past her and we walked up to the trains.
My feelings were split straight down the middle between wanting to help someone who seemed to need it and wanting to protect my family from a stranger's problems, and I couldn't reconcile them in those 30 seconds. So I ended up letting Ellie decide for me. I'm still not sure if she made the right decision.
2 comments:
Based on Ellie's first encounter, I would guess her instincts in the second encounter were probably right on. Thanks for keeping up the blog...I really enjoy it!
Young children have an eerie ESP that unfortunately is lost as we age. Or as we become brainwashed by society. (Is that Dad talking?) But I think both of Ellie's instincts seemed to be right on.
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